


take me up and up like a ladder

by Anonymous



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Muggle, Cunnilingus, Drinking Games, Enthusiastic Consent, F/M, First Time, Loss of Virginity, Minor appearances by the Marauders and Caradoc Dearborn, POV Remus Lupin, Remus Lupin Fest 2021
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-11
Updated: 2021-03-11
Packaged: 2021-03-12 21:55:02
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,846
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29142582
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: Remus Lupin has never been the best liar.This time, it somehow works out in his favour.
Relationships: Remus Lupin/Lily Evans
Comments: 1
Kudos: 14
Collections: Remus Lupin Fest 2021





	take me up and up like a ladder

**Author's Note:**

> Work from Prompt 92: "They don’t really know how this happened, but somehow Remus and Lily lose their virginity to each other."
> 
> * * *
> 
> They're all still British, and the Marauders are still a squad; Hogwarts exists in this fic as a public boarding school, though Remus didn't attend. University AU; assume they attend a non-Oxbridge, but still rather well-regarded university, but I left it intentionally vague.  
> Title from the Front Bottoms song 2YL

Lily came.

Remus didn’t think she would.

These aren’t her friends, after all. It’s not that she doesn’t know anyone here, but he knows for a fact that she doesn’t like James one bit.

He can’t really blame her, if he’s honest.

But she came.

Sirius catches his eye from across the room and gives him a knowing smirk. Remus doesn’t know how – they’ve not known each other that long – but Sirius can read him better than nearly anyone else. Sirius was the one to bring up Remus’s feelings for Lily. Sirius was the one to suggest inviting her. 

(“Bearing in mind, you know, the fact that Jem used to drive her mental in secondary school,” Sirius said. And no, Remus doesn’t hold their posh public school against them; if nothing else, like him, Lily’s family is middle class, perhaps even slightly less stable than his own. She’d gotten a bursary to cover her school fees. Remus had, too, but that had been before – but there was no sense in dwelling on that).

He should talk to her.

After all, it’s hardly as if she came here tonight to talk to Peter.

He’s about to walk over to her, to say something casual and low-key, as if he’s not been driving Sirius and James and Peter all mental all week agonising over whether she’d come, when Caradoc Dearborn intercepts him.

Remus likes Caradoc. He’s a good sort. He’s an art student, like Sirius. He’s Welsh, too, and they’ve bonded a bit over that. A bit of solidarity while surrounded by the English.

But right now – right now, he wants to talk to Lily. He can hardly be blamed for being annoyed at this.

“Remus! Just the man I wanted to see!” Caradoc says, and god, all right, it’s refreshing to hear an accent from home.

“What is it?” he asks. He hears how impatient he sounds when the words are out of his mouth, and he cringes. He does like Caradoc, really. If he weren’t so caught up on Lily, he might even fancy him. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to say it like that.”

“No worries. We’re down a man for our drinking game, but it looks like you’ve got more important business.”

“It’s not more important. I only wanted to say hello to Lily before James makes an arse of himself again.”

Caradoc glances over to where Lily is talking to Peter, who looks far more invested in the whole thing than she does. “Completely understand. Can’t have her thinking we’re all self-absorbed arseholes. Just find us if you’ve got a moment.”

Remus smiles. “Thanks.”

And then, undeterred, he walks over to where Peter is talking to Lily about some film that Remus has never seen. Lily looks vaguely pained.

“Lily! Glad to see you came!” Remus says.

Lily smiles when she sees him. “Of course I came! Between you and me, I was never quite cool enough to get invited to one of the infamous Potter-Black parties in secondary school.”

“James was just afraid you’d tell the headmaster,” Peter supplies. “You  _ did _ quite hate him.”

Lily shrugs. “He was an annoying prick. Still is, but a bit less of one.”

“Try living with him,” Remus says. He loves James, he does, but it is undeniable that James is still an annoying prick.

Lily laughs. “No, thank you. My flatmates are quite enough to deal with. I couldn’t imagine adding James Potter on top of that. I’m sure his room is filled top to bottom with all sorts of posh shite.”

“It’s not, actually,” Peter says, seemingly unaware that Remus wants to speak to Lily alone. “He’s bought most of his things from IKEA.”

“It’s his idea of roughing it,” Remus says with a smirk.

“Oh, that’s almost cute,” Lily says. She, like Remus, surely knows that IKEA is all very normal. Remus doesn’t envision living with IKEA furniture thirty years from now, but for now… IKEA is almost a step up from how most students’ flats are furnished.

It’s a bit difficult to tell, with the party in full swing, that every piece of furniture in the flat came directly from IKEA, but Remus isn’t one to complain about that. It’s probably a bit nicer than his parents’ house, if he’s honest. Everything’s at least newer.

“I’ve tried to tell him, but Sirius is just as hopeless as he is about the whole thing, and even Peter… no offense, mate, but your dad might not be nobility, but he’s certainly well-off.”

“He is, yeah. Even he’s a bit scandalised by all the IKEA furniture when I send my mum photos.”

And then it occurs to him: the perfect way to get Peter away without being a prick about it. “Oh! Pete! I meant to tell you – Caradoc was looking for you! He wanted you for a drinking game.”

Peter, bless him, doesn’t ask questions, and instead excuses himself and goes to find Caradoc.

Once he’s out of earshot, Lily grins and says, “Thanks.”

“Caradoc really did want someone else for his game. But – probably not Peter.”

“He’s all right, Peter, but I certainly don’t want to spend all night talking to him.” She twirls a strand of red hair around a finger.

“I understand.” He tries his best to look sympathetic, but, really, he doesn’t want to spend all night talking to Peter, either. Nothing against him, of course, but… he doesn’t want to date Peter, does he? (Absolutely not). “Has anyone got you a drink yet?”

“Not yet,” Lily says.

So he leads her to the kitchen and gives her a choice of beer, wine, and about a dozen different types of liquor. 

“Potter goes all out, doesn’t he?” she asks as she pours herself some whiskey. 

“Spends every last pence on takeaway and liquor,” Remus agrees. He gets himself a beer; he wants to keep his wits about him, even though he’s in his own home.

Lily laughs. “So he’s really not changed much.”

“Not terribly, no, though I never knew him back then, so I suppose I’m not the best judge.”

“I think most spoilt rich kids are more or less the same in that. Absolutely no money management skills.”

“Why would they have? Their parents pay their bills, and give them spending money on top of that. If they run out, they can call mum and dad for a loan, or they can ask their equally rich friends.”

“Exactly,” Lily says. “I’m glad you’re not like that.”

“I’m not. Mum’s an estate agent, and my dad’s a police officer. Not exactly posh living.”

“Definitely not,” Lily agrees. “My mum’s a teacher. Dad drives a lorry.”

Remus gives her his best conspiratorial wink. By god, she’s gorgeous. “Then it’s you and me against the rest of them, isn’t it?”

“Always.” She taps their cups together in a toast.

They drink, and Remus is overwhelmed again by how gorgeous she is. It isn’t fair, really. They’re friends. He knows they’re friends, even if he fancies her. They’ve been friends for just over a year, now, and even Remus knows that that’s long enough that any sense of romance might have been taken off the table.

“You know, I think this is the first time I’ve been in your flat. Don’t I deserve the grand tour?”

“Of course,” Remus says. “Right this way. This is the kitchen, of course, and you’ve seen the sitting room.”

“I have, yeah.”

“Then if you’d just follow me…” 

He leads her upstairs. Unsurprisingly, part of the party has migrated up here, as well.

Peter’s room seems to be occupied for a drinking game. The door is open, and when they pass by, Caradoc calls to him from inside, “Oi, Lupin, have you decided to join us, then?”

Remus shrugs and motions to Lily. “I’m in the middle of a tour. Perhaps when we’ve finished.”

Caradoc winks. “Just let us know.”

Remus shakes his head and moves on. “This is Sirius’s room.”

“What’s it like inside? Oh! Let me guess: it’s a complete fucking mess.”

“Of course it is. Clothes on the floor, art  _ literally _ everywhere. Every time I pass by and the door’s open I have to look away or else I’ll have an anxiety attack.”

Lily laughs. “So it’s best not to sneak a look?”

“Probably, yeah. But my room’s just over here.” He leads her over and opens the door.

His room is, blissfully, empty. He was a bit concerned that someone might have invaded while he was downstairs, but it seems he needn’t have worried… at least this time.

“It’s very  _ you,” _ Lily says as she steps inside.

“I’m not sure whether that’s a good thing.”

She turns to face him and gives him a wink. “With you, Remus? It’s a very good thing.” 

When Lily bends over a bit to examine one of his bookcases, Remus forces himself to avert his eyes; he stares determinedly at his Doctor Who poster instead. The last thing he wants is for her to catch him staring – or worse, for Sirius to barge in and catch him.

“Not too obvious that I’m a literature student, is it?”

“Just a bit. But I like it.” She pulls a book off one of the top shelves. “Anna Akhmatova?”

“It’s quite a good translation, really. I certainly couldn’t read the original.”

“I should find this all horribly pretentious, you know,” Lily says, shelving the book back in its place. “And you’ve clearly got a system.”

“Fiction’s alphabetical by author, nonfiction is by subject matter,” Remus says, even though he knows she probably doesn’t  _ actually _ care how he shelves his books.

She nods in approval. “Good. That’s a good system. You’ve got to come round mine and help me organise all my books. I swear, I’d murder for this sort of organisation. I just sort of stick mine in wherever there’s space.”

She starts poking about his desk, then. “Also impeccably organised. I’m impressed, Lupin. I’d have reckoned you were the absent-minded professor sort.”

“That’s a common misconception,” Remus says.

Lily grins and steps over to him. “Seems like you’re full of secrets.”

“I wouldn’t go that far.” He steps toward her, too. 

He’s not sure what’s happening; he doesn’t even know whether Lily thinks of him in that way, but god, she’s beautiful. Her long, red hair is loose, and he wants so badly to touch it. He shouldn’t. He can’t.

Just then, he hears a voice calling his name. “Remus! Come join our game!”

It’s James. Of course it’s James. Cockblock extraordinaire.

He probably struck out with a girl and is now trying to make sure he’s not the only one.

Lily, unfortunately, seems interested. “What sort of game?” she calls back.

“Never have I ever!”

Lily grins at him, and Remus could swear his heart skips a beat. “Sounds fun! We can always come back here after.”

What can he do but agree?

Lily grabs him by the hand and pulls him back toward Peter’s room, which is now pretty packed with people. There aren’t many available seats, so he rationalises away Lily promptly sitting in his lap as just a lack of space. There’s no point to overthinking it.

Caradoc hands them both a cup of – well, Remus isn’t quite sure what it is, but it smells strong.

“You both know the rules. We all take turns, saying something we’ve not done, and if you  _ have _ done it, you have to take a drink.”

“So that explains why Black isn’t here, then?” Lily says. “Because he’d probably drink himself sick within a few rounds.”

“Careful he doesn’t hear you say that, Evans,” James says.

“I’ll say it to his face. Don’t tempt me.”

“Anyway,” Caradoc says with perhaps a bit too much force. “It was Peter’s turn.”

Peter, as always, seems a bit nervous once all attention is turned on him. “Never have I ever, erm, performed in a play?”

James scoffs. “That’s weak, mate.” 

A few people drink – most noticeably, Lily. She catches his look and shrugs. “I was Gwendolyn Fairfax in a production of  _ The Importance of Being Earnest.” _

“I remember that,” James says.

“Of course you do,” Lily says under her breath. 

“Oi, Evans, I’m  _ over _ you.”

“You weren’t over me when I was in that play.”

“Anyway,” Peter says this time. “That’s my turn done. Who’s next?”

James stands, even though standing is not strictly necessary for the game. “Never have I ever gotten so pissed at a party that I passed out and woke up to find someone had drawn cocks all over my face.”

Remus suppresses a laugh as Peter drinks – and a few other people, too. “Fuck you,” Peter says.

“The rules are: say something you’ve not done. I’ve not done that.”

Remus clears his throat. “Never have I ever taken advantage of a friend who got so pissed at a party that they passed out by drawing cocks all over their face.”

James gives him a death glare, but he drinks. “Fuck you, Lupin.”

“It  _ was _ you!”

“And Sirius, but yeah,” James says.

They get a good flow going, and, Remus is pleased to note, even though a few people come in and a few people leave, Lily stays sat on his lap.

They’re both rather drunk when Lily leans back on him. After a moment, he wraps his free arm around her waist.

And then, of course, someone – Remus isn’t quite sure he even knows this person – says, “Never have I ever had sex.”

And Remus is too slow.

Lily drinks. James drinks. Caradoc drinks.

Remus is too slow.

“You’ve not had sex?” James asks.

“Course I have,” Remus lies, and he drinks.

Fortunately, Peter’s not drank either, so James zeroes in his attention on him – like a predator on prey.

He knows, though, this won’t be the last he hears about this.

* * *

A week later, he and Lily grab coffee after class. She takes him to a quiet, small place a bit away from the university campus.

“I never thanked you for ordering me a cab home,” Lily says.

Remus shakes his head. “Don’t. I borrowed Sirius’s phone to do it.”

Lily grins. “I like how you think.”

In reality, Remus promised to pay Sirius back, but Sirius waved him off and told him not to worry about it. Initially, he’d chafed a bit at what he’d thought was charity from his friends, but in the past year, he’s come to realise that they simply don’t view money as an issue.

Namely because they’ve asked him to spot them without thinking about it.

They don’t do that so much anymore – at most, they’ll cover for each other. 

“You’ll get used to it,” Lily says. 

“Pardon?”

“How they all act about money. You’ll get used to it. Mostly. I did – though it took quite a while.”

“Going to uni with them – even living with them – is one thing. I can’t imagine being middle class at public school with them.”

Lily shrugs. “Most of my friends also got bursaries for their school fees. It wasn’t  _ Eton, _ or anything, but… I swear, they can all sense when you don’t come from money. Even when you’re wearing the same uniform as everyone else.”

Remus shakes his head. “Makes me a bit glad I only went to a state school.”

“Sirius had said something about you having gotten admitted to Hogwarts, though?”

“I wasn’t able to attend. It wasn’t due to funding, or anything like that. There was an, erm…  _ incident _ before I was due to start.”

Lily doesn’t push. “I’m sorry to hear that,” she says. She reaches her hand across the table to clasp his.

And yes, while they both may technically be middle class, Lily is miles out of his league. She’s beautiful, clever, and kind. Remus might be able to manage to find someone who’s clever and kind, but not someone as beautiful as Lily on top of that.

“Thanks,” he says.

That’s the end of that discussion. They finish their coffees over small talk, and it’s only when they’re walking back through town that Lily says, “You know the game we all played at the party?”

“The drinking game? Never have I ever?”

“Yeah, that’s the one.”

He nods and looks over to her, but she won’t meet his eye. Strange. “What about it?”

Lily blushes, and it’s adorable. Her cheeks turn such a pretty shade of pink. “Forgive me if this is too out of line, but…  _ have _ you not had sex?”

It’s Remus’s turn to blush, then. He’s never been a particularly gifted liar, though this past year being friends with Sirius and James has given him  _ some _ practise in the art. He’s typically best at hedging around the question. Bold-faced lies… not so much. 

But, well, if he does have any chance of dating Lily, she’ll find out sooner or later. “I haven’t, no. Not that the opportunity hasn’t been there, or that I haven’t  _ wanted _ to, but… they’ve never quite… lined up, as such.”

“I’ve not, either,” Lily says.

“You haven’t?” He looks her in the eyes – she meets his eyes then. She shakes her head.

“I’m just a better liar about it than you are. Couldn’t imagine what Potter would’ve said if I’d admitted I hadn’t, so I didn’t. But, erm, if… if you’d like to… with me… I think that’d be fun.”

Remus is a clever guy; he knows, logically, what Lily is proposing, but hearing her say it is something else entirely. “You’d like to have sex with me?”

“Yes,” Lily says.

Her green eyes meet his, and he’d have to be an idiot to say no.

So he says, “All right. When?”

Lily smiles.

* * *

This is a horrible idea. Remus knows it’s a horrible idea. The way Lily’s framed this is all a matter of convenience. They’re mates; they trust each other. Most importantly, she trusts him. She trusts him not to hurt her or be stupid about it – and Remus is going to do his best to ensure that trust hasn’t been misplaced.

But he doesn’t think Lily actually has  _ feelings _ for him.

And he’s, conservatively speaking, half in love with her.

Which complicates matters a bit.

He’s not sure he believes how James swears up and down that you can fall in love with a girl just by having sex with her (that sounds more like an issue James has, personally, that has little to do with girls or sex in and of themselves). 

But he knows it’s a horrible idea to have sex with a girl you’re half in love with  _ as friends. _

And he’s going to do it anyway.

The problem is that they have flatmates. Remus’s flatmates would never, ever let him live this down, and Lily swears that she can hear everything her flatmates get up to, and she wants privacy, so he books a hotel room.

It’s not the fanciest hotel in town, but it’s a nice one. It does take a good chunk of the money his parents have sent him for food. (It’ll be fine; he can eat ramen, or mooch off of his friends. They won’t let him go hungry. This is worth it, anyway.)

The morning of, he showers, agonises over what to wear, brushes his teeth twice (and uses mouthwash three times), quadruple-checks his overnight bag, worries that he’s packed too many condoms – then not enough, and eventually ends up sitting on his bed with nothing to do to get his mind off of it.

Normally, he’d masturbate, but when he tries, that horrible fucking scene from  _ The Inbetweeners _ comes to mind, and even though he  _ knows _ that a few hours is  _ more _ than enough time to be able to get it up again, it’s not a risk he’s willing to take.

Not today.

Eventually, it’s late enough that he can head to the hotel, so he locks his bedroom door behind him and heads out.

He manages to evade all of his flatmates on the way out.

The fewer questions they have, the better.

He forces himself to walk as calmly as possible to the hotel. There’s no use in working up a sweat this early. He doesn’t want to show up and have Lily draw the wrong conclusion.

This turns out to be an excellent idea, because Lily is waiting by the reception desk when he arrives.

He’s aware of the ridiculous grin he breaks into when he sees her. He can’t help it.

She smiles back.

* * *

The hotel room is nice. Nondescript, but nice. They both take their shoes off upon entering, like it’s some sort of unwritten rule.

“So,” Lily says from her spot at the foot of the bed. “How did you want to do this?”

Remus has agonised over this for months – longer than he’s even been aware that this possibility has even been on the table. He has a plan.

And yet, the first thing out of his mouth is, “I think I should eat you out.”

Lily’s eyebrows shoot up, though she does blush. “Do you?”

He can feel his own face heat up. “I mean, strictly speaking, most women don’t orgasm purely from penetration, and even if you  _ do, _ it seems like a lot to put on… I’ve never… guys don’t typically  _ last _ long our first few times, do we?”

Lily makes a face that’s halfway between a grin and a smirk. “You’ve got a point.”

“Though I would like to, erm… foreplay. Foreplay’s important.”

“It is, yeah,” Lily agrees. “Shall we undress ourselves, or did you want to undress each other?”

Oh, god, this is really happening. He’s going to have sex with Lily Evans.  _ The _ Lily Evans.

“Erm, maybe… we should… undress ourselves? Unless you want me to undress you, because I will, but it’s just that I feel like that might… I’ve  _ no _ idea how to take off a bra.”

Lily walks over to him and kisses him. It’s better than he imagined. 

Not that he hasn’t  _ kissed _ a girl before – of course he has! And he’s kissed lads, too! – but he’s never kissed  _ Lily Evans _ before. And that, in and of itself, is an experience that  _ more _ than lives up to all his anticipation.

She pulls him close, and then he feels her start tugging his shirt up.

He breaks the kiss to let her pull his shirt off over his head (though it does get stuck for a moment), and he doesn’t have any time to become self-conscious, because she pulls him right back in for another kiss. They kiss for a few more minutes before she starts trying to unfasten his belt.

Remus pulls away. “Here. Let me.”

He doesn’t realise his hands are shaking until he actually starts to unfasten his belt. He hopes Lily doesn’t notice. He hesitates to unbutton his jeans, and he meets her eyes. He can’t see any hesitation, so he unbuttons his jeans, unzips them, and pulls them down.

He’s hard already, and he knows it’s all the more obvious when he’s only in his pants, but then Lily is taking his hands and sliding them under her shirt. Her skin is soft and hot to the touch, and all Remus can think is that this is really happening. He kisses her again.

As he kisses her, he unbuttons her jeans and starts to tug them down as much as he can without breaking the kiss. And then, emboldened, he slowly – giving her more than enough time to hesitate or push him away – slides his hand down her pants.

She pushes into his hand, which is when Remus realises he has very little idea of what he’s actually doing, and no way to see whether he’s doing anything right. So he breaks the kiss and says, “What should I do from here?”

She takes her hand over his and guides it between her folds. She presses his fingers against her clit and tells him to rub her in circles. He does as he’s asked without hesitation, and she starts making the most adorable sounds. 

“Yeah, good, just like that.”

He’s so hard he’s concerned he might climax if she as much as brushes against him, but he knows better than to stop before he’s finished getting her off… which only takes a few minutes.

She pulls away and flops down on the bed, jeans half off.

“Fuck,” she says.

He’s not sure whether it’s all right to touch her, so he takes this opportunity to kick his own jeans the rest of the way off and take off his socks.

“Remus.”

“Yeah?”

“Can you take off my jeans? My legs are all jelly.”

“All right.” 

He takes her jeans off as gently as possible, and then goes to lay down next to her.

She reaches a hand over toward the waistband of his pants. “Can I?”

Lily’s going to wank him off. Fuck. The thought is unreal, but he agrees. “Of course.” He’s a bit worried he might not be able to get it up again later, but… well, he’ll just focus on her. He won’t start screaming at his cock for not working. Real life is not an  _ Inbetweeners _ episode.

At least he hopes not.

He helps Lily get his pants off (which isn’t strictly necessary for this, but he’s not complaining). His cock is harder than he thinks it ever has been before. She’s looking at it like it’s something strange and foreign – which it must be, for her – with her tongue between her lips in a truly adorable fashion.

And then she takes her hand, wraps it around his cock, and starts stroking him.

He’d love to say he lasts a long time – several minutes, even – but he doesn’t. He’s inordinately pleased that he lasts for four strokes. Lily doesn’t seem surprised when he climaxes, anyway.

She wipes her hand on the duvet cover and kisses him.

They kiss for a few minutes. He’s not going to be hard again any time soon. Maybe that’s all right. Better this than coming without her so much as touching him.

Eventually, she pulls away. 

She takes off her t-shirt and raises an eyebrow at him. “I don’t mean this as any insult to your ability, but unless you’re adamant, I’m going to take my bra off and spare us both the trouble.”

He knows he should learn how to take a girl’s bra off at some point, but that isn’t necessarily today. “All right.”

And then – well, his mind about short circuits.

Because Lily Evans is beautiful, but Lily Evans’s  _ breasts _ are magnificent. They’re full and slightly uneven. Her nipples are pink and hard, and he  _ really _ wants to put them in his mouth. She’s somehow got freckles on her breasts, too, though not as many as she’s got on her shoulders or her face or her arms.

He’d thought he was a bit too old to have this reaction; past the adolescent fascination with a woman’s breasts, but as it turns out… when he has the real thing in front of him, he can’t think of anything else.

Without thinking, he reaches out to touch them. He’s not sure how he expected them to feel, but he’s a bit surprised at how  _ soft _ they are. Not that he’s not taking care to be gentle, of course. But still.

“Can I, erm…?” he starts, but he’s not sure how to finish.

“What?” she asks.

He meets her eyes. God, how are her eyes so green? His eyes are green, too, but they’re not  _ that _ green.

“Kiss them?”

She kisses him. “Remus, you can kiss me anywhere you’d like.”

So he does. He kisses her breasts reverently. She strokes his hair and encourages him, making all sorts of little gasps and moans. He takes one of her nipples in his mouth and swirls his tongue around; she moans out a curse and arches her back.

He could get used to this.

Except he can’t get used to this. Not with Lily. This is just two friends helping each other out. He forces himself to keep that in mind. He can’t let himself get too carried away.

Slowly, he trails kisses down her chest and stomach. When he reaches the waistband of her pants, he looks up to meet her eyes. “Do you want me to?”

She nods. “Yeah. Please.”

He slides her pants down, off her legs and onto the floor. She spreads her legs for him.

He’s not totally clueless, but this  _ is _ the first time he’s seen a woman like this in real life, and it takes his breath away. She has a little patch of red hair, and then below, soft pink lips. He strokes her tentatively, and watches her writhe.

And then he settles in between her legs and finds her clit with his tongue. He’d like to say he does so  _ quickly, _ or without looking, but he doesn’t. Lily doesn’t seem to mind. He gets there in the end, anyway. 

He feels her take his hand and curl three fingers and his thumb in, guiding his hand to her entrance. He takes the hint and goes in slowly. 

She’s wet and slick, and absolutely unlike anything he’s ever felt before tonight. He can feel her tighten against his fingers, and for a moment, he’s not sure what else to do, but then she says, “Oh, god, Remus,  _ please,” _ and he starts to thrust.

He continues until she climaxes again.

He pulls himself back up to lay next to her.

She catches her breath. He’s still not hard again. He wills himself not to be concerned. This is all normal, probably. Besides, unless he  _ actually _ starts screaming at his cock, he can’t see Lily leaving the room in tears.

He’s gotten her off twice, which gives him a swell of pride until he panics. 

“Lily?”

“Yeah?”

“I know this might be an  _ impossibly _ stupid question, but… you’ll be able to come again, yeah?”

“Yes?” She sounds a bit confused. “I think I need a bit of a breather for the moment, but… yes, I think so. And even if I don’t, I’m sure it’ll be nice.”

“It’s not – I’m not stupid enough to think I’ll get you off during. But. After, maybe?”

She reaches over to pat his arm. “I think we can see how we both feel.”

“Oh.” Remus feels a bit embarrassed. He certainly doesn’t want her to come away feeling unsatisfied, or worse: regret it, but at the same time, he doesn’t want to come on too strong.

“I’m not saying no,” Lily says. She yawns. “It’s just that I typically find myself  _ exhausted _ after I masturbate, and I’m not sure I’ll want to do more than just sleep.”

“If you’re tired now, we can stop for the night. Try again in the morning?”

She rolls her eyes. “I appreciate the offer, Remus, but I really want you to fuck me.”

He refuses to let himself overthink that. Of course she wants him to fuck her; why else would she be here? This was all her idea. She’d been the one to broach the subject; Remus would likely have gone on for several more months awkwardly trying to ask her on a date if she hadn’t.

Some people might ask people to fuck them who they don’t  _ actually _ want to sleep with. He sincerely doubts Lily could ever be one of them.

She’s too self-assured for that.

“Erm, if you don’t mind my asking…” 

“Yeah?” She doesn’t  _ sound _ cautious, at least.

“Why  _ haven’t _ you had sex before? I mean, you’re gorgeous. And you’re clever, and you’re kind, and – loads of people fancy you.” He doesn’t tell her that he’s one of them. He can’t. “I mean, for me, it’s just that it’s not quite… lined up. There’ve been people who’ve wanted me, and people who I’ve wanted, but… even on the few occasions they were the same people, the timelines haven’t quite matched up.”

“I dunno if you’ve noticed, Remus, but  _ most _ blokes don’t like women who are smarter than them. And I know better than to sleep with someone who doesn’t respect me and view me as a person. Girls are an option, but… none of the girls I actually fancied wanted me back.”

“Surely there’s been someone, though. A girl who liked you, or a guy who wasn’t a prick about you being smarter than him?”

Lily shrugs. “Not one I’ve been attracted to. Well, except for you, of course.”

Remus can swear his heart skips a beat. “I’m sorry, you’re attracted to me?”

“‘Course I am. I’m not going to fuck someone I’m not attracted to.”

Oh. Well, shit. This is better than he anticipated. “I’m attracted to you, too.”

“I know. You’re nowhere near as subtle about it as you’d like to believe.” She winks and leans over to kiss his cheek.

He kisses her. She kisses him back, but pulls away after a moment. She pushes her hair back out of her face. “Let me just…” She takes a hairband off of her wrist and ties her hair up. “That’s better.”

She kisses him again. The angle isn’t quite right; Lily notices it, too. She shifts her position a bit, but it’s still a bit odd. 

“What if we…?” He rolls over onto his back and pulls her on top of him. Or tries to. Lily adjusts herself the rest of the way. 

It’s still a bit awkward, but with her weight on top of him, her breasts pressed against his chest, her lips on his, he can feel himself start to get hard again. Which is a relief.

They kiss for a while, and it’s perfectly  _ nice. _ There’s something different about kissing someone like this, completely naked and with the promise of sex. Perhaps that’s obvious, but this is a new experience for him. 

Eventually, Lily pulls away a bit. “Do you want to try now?”

Right. Shit. “Yeah,” he says. “I’ve got… I’ve got condoms in my bag. And lube.”

“Wonderful,” Lily says. She kisses him and rolls off of him. “I’ll wait here.”

He has never moved so quickly in his life. He’s back in bed and rolling the condom on before Lily’s finished fixing her hair.

This is it.

He waits for Lily to finish what she’s doing before doing anything else. 

“All right,” she says after a moment. “I’m ready.”

He positions himself between her spread legs – though he doesn’t try anything just yet – and kisses her. “You’re sure you want to do this?”

She’s not given him any indications to the contrary, but it never hurts to ask, right?

Lily nods. “Absolutely.” As if to further prove her point, she tentatively wraps her legs around his waist. “And seriously – don’t worry if you don’t get me off again. Just… go slow, all right?”

“Yeah,” he says. 

The problem is, he’s not quite sure whether he knows what he’s doing. Not from up here. James’s story about how the first time he had sex with a girl, he hadn’t  _ quite _ found the right hole doesn’t seem anywhere near as amusing right now.

“Can you, er… sort of… just so I know I’ve… got it right?” He’s a literature student; he’s meant to be good with words. And yet.

Lily seems to understand him anyway. “You want me to guide you?”

“If… if you wouldn’t mind?”

“I don’t,” she says.

It takes a considerable amount of willpower not to come when she takes him in her hand, but she does guide him right to her entrance. She pulls her hand away and buries it in his hair. He pushes in just a bit. “That’s right, right?”

“Yeah,” Lily breathes. “Whenever you’re ready.”

He’s as ready as he’ll ever be. He pushes in a bit more, going slowly. It’s unlike anything he’s ever imagined. It’s so much to take in, but he makes sure to pay attention to Lily’s face.

“All right?”

“Yeah.”

He keeps going until he can’t go any further, and then lets out a breath. Lily seems, well, not  _ un _ comfortable.

“Let me know when I can, y’know, move.”

She nods. “I think I just need a moment.”

He can give her that. He can give her all the time she needs. He kisses her cheek and tries not to think, too much. To just enjoy the moment. This isn’t  _ sex, _ not properly, but it’s closer than he thought he’d get even a week ago.

Then Lily gives him the go ahead, so he starts thrusting. Slowly at first, and then, when she asks, he goes faster. He doesn’t last very long at all, and when he does climax, she strokes his hair as he comes down.

She doesn’t say anything at first, but neither does he. He catches his breath and enjoys the afterglow.

“Fuck,” he says after a while.

“That was nice.”

In his fantasies, it’s better than  _ nice, _ but considering he didn’t get her off,  _ nice _ is just fine. “I can – in a few minutes, I can try to get you off again?”

Lily shakes her head. “I’m knackered, honestly. I do appreciate the offer, but I just want to sleep. Maybe in the morning? Besides, I need to run to the toilet.”

He doesn’t object, but he does watch her as she goes. He still can’t quite believe that he’s had sex with her. She’s had sex with him. 

As he’s waiting for her to come back, her words hit him. _ In the morning. _ She wants to do this again?

Is this just a continuation of their time away, or does she intend on this being a long-term thing? Something in-between?

He doesn’t know, but he hopes it’s long term.

When she comes back, he speaks up. “I’m going to shower – did you want to go first?”

“No, that’s all right. I’ll shower in the morning.”

He kisses her before he gets up.

Lily is asleep when he gets back to bed.

He curls up next to her and tries to sleep.

* * *

Remus wakes up with Lily’s hair in his face. He can’t feel his arm. Upon closer inspection, that would be because Lily’s laying on it.

She seems to wake when he does.

“Morning,” she says.

“Morning.”

She pushes her hair out of her face. “Breakfast? I think I’m going to get a shower.”

“All right,” he agrees. 

Room service is pushing it, but going to a restaurant seems like a bit too much. Especially since, all things considered, he’s not totally certain where Lily stands. Or where he stands. Where they stand with each other.

But he can do this.

He takes her order for breakfast before she goes into the bathroom. He really isn’t eager to see the bill, but it’s worth it. Isn’t it?

He’s not sure whether to get dressed. Lily did mention going again last night, but that was last night. After a moment’s thought, he settles on at least putting a clean pair of pants on. Lily can’t object to that. He’s still mostly naked, anyway, so if she does want to go again, he’ll just need to take off one thing.

Remus isn’t sure what to do as Lily showers. He settles for scrolling through his phone. He catches up on the group chat he’s in with James, Sirius, and Peter (they’ve been discussing the merits of various action films; he’s not missed anything). 

The food comes just a minute before Lily comes out of the bathroom. She’s not dressed; she’s only got a towel wrapped around her. That seems like a good sign.

“Oh, good; I’m  _ starving,” _ Lily says. 

She doesn’t get dressed. She eats breakfast in a towel. Remus has to try not to stare.

“So,” Lily says after she takes her first bite. “Listen, I know… we’ve not really discussed… well, anything.”

“All right…” He hopes she’s not about to tell him she just wants to be friends. He’ll respect her wishes, of course, but it would be so much better if she wants him, too.

“The thing is… I quite like you. Not – not just because of last night. I wouldn’t have ever slept with anyone I didn’t trust in the first place. So – no pressure, of course, but I thought I should ask you how you feel.”

Lily likes him. He can’t help but fixate on that.

“I quite like you, too,” he says.

Lily smiles. Remus feels the butterflies well in his stomach. God, but she’s beautiful. 

“I’m not saying we should jump right into anything,” Lily says. “But… I think we can manage a date, don’t you?”

A date. With Lily Evans.

“I mean, a proper one. You’ve just bought me food and you made me come twice last night. I think that qualifies as a date for most people.”

Remus laughs. “You’ve got a point. All right. Yeah. A proper date. Cinema and dinner and walking you home.”

“And making me come.”

He leans in to kiss her. “Of course.”

As if he’d have it any other way.


End file.
